A conversation with a purpose
“There are many times that I wish I had heard that “just who you are at this moment, with the way that you’re feeling, is fine. You don’t have to be anything more than who you are right now.” I’d like to think its also something that’s happened to me through the years, that I’m more able to accept myself as I happen to be rather than as somebody thought I should be.”
— Fred Rogers, “This Beautiful Day: Daily Wisdom from Mister Rogers”
What is coaching?
Coaching is forward-looking. You bring the topic. It might be a specific challenge, a decision you are wrestling with, a relationship that is not working the way you want, or just a nagging sense that something needs to shift. My job is to ask the questions that help you find your own answers, to notice when something does not quite add up, and to make sure you leave every session with a commitment you will actually follow through on. You already have more answers than you probably realize. Coaching helps you find them in yourself.
A few things coaching is different from, so we are clear from the start. Therapy looks backward at where things came from. Mentoring is someone telling you what they would do. Consulting hands you a plan. A performance improvement plan is remediation. Coaching keeps the judgment and the values where they belong, with you, and builds your capacity to use them.
How do we work together?
We start with a values exercise. That might sound abstract, but stay with me. When you are clear on what you value as a leader, decisions get easier, conflicts make more sense, and you can lead with a lot more authenticity. In my experience, we usually make the right call when it is centered on our values, and much of the stress leaders carry comes from decisions that have drifted out of alignment with them.
Later on we do a purpose exercise that connects the work you do every day to something larger. Leaders tell me it is a conversation they wish they had sooner. Recalling your purpose, or rethinking it, can be surprisingly clarifying.
In between, every session is yours. You bring something to think through, we work it, and you leave with a next step. Between sessions is where the real growth happens, because that is when you act on what you decided. I keep a small practice on purpose, so each client gets my full attention.
Is it confidential?
What we talk about stays between us. Full stop. You need to be able to be honest in these sessions, and that only happens if you trust that what you say is safe with me. It is.
If your school or organization is sponsoring the coaching, we agree in advance on what, if anything, gets shared with them. Even then, it is only high-level themes, never the details of our conversations.